Now THIS is what pisses ME off…

I was out at the bar last Friday night as usual with some friends.  We were at our favorite bar and loving every second of it, after all, drunken debauchery is the best kind of debauchery. After a few pitchers of Bud Light with the crew, I decided to go have a smoke. As I was going outside some Jersey Shore lookin’ punk bumped into me. I just kept walking like nothing happened, it really didn’t bother me that much…Until he said “excuse you buddy” in the exact right tone to piss me off. At that point, I jumped to the 9th level of anger, and I only have like…6 levels. So needless to say I was a little upset. Then I told him that he was the one that bumped into me. This turned into a very heated argument about what happened, and him trying to assert his manhood. Then I realized that this guy was just trying to pick a fight with me.  Finally after many “Fuck you’s” and threats were exchanged I decided that I was a little bit furious. I was done talking, and it was time to take this outside. Once I said “Fuck it! Let’s take this outside then.”  He stops being tough and says “Naw dude, it’s cool, my bad for bumpin’ into ya.”

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Now THIS is what pisses ME off…

So I went grocery shopping the other day. I was just minding my own business looking for Hot Pockets and other things to bring to work for lunch. And I know what you’re thinking, Hot Pockets are delicious, and I completely agree. As I was browsing through the aisles I saw a guy I graduated High School with walking down the same aisle. I didn’t particularly like this guy in High School…he wasn’t in the same group of people that I hung out with…I did date his sister though, so that’s the only reason I had any interaction with him back in those days. I tried dodging the awkward interaction that was sure to come as much as I could, but needless to say I failed. I attempted to turn my head to avoid eye contact, turn my body so he wouldn’t think I saw him, take out my cell phone to seem like I was enthralled in a conversation with someone I actually wanted to talk to. Despite all my efforts he says, “Hey man, how ya been?”. I replied politely with the usual “Oh not too bad, how ’bout you?” Then he gives me his life story about having a kid with his ex-girlfriend, who he caught cheating on him, the kid might not be his. And how he just got laid off from work because he hurt his back in a car accident, he was drunk driving and hit a parked car, he’s getting sued for it.

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